With the arrival of 471, the veil of the pandemic that overshadowed the last 2 years began to lift… But when the world seemed to become a little kinder again, the war in Ukraine grabbed the headlines.
Bad news, in addition to this conflict, is plenty. How then to remain optimistic without necessarily ignoring reality?
Study after study highlights the benefits of optimism.
This attitude towards life makes us live longer (between a 11% and a 15% more than the least optimistic, according to a study by the Boston School of Medicine), better (the chances of suffering illnesses are lower for those who know how to appreciate the bright side of life), have better relationships and even earn higher salaries.
But can those who tend to see the glass half empty do something to change their perspective?
According to Eric Kim, co-director of a study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology (2016), twin studies “suggest that up to 25% of optimism can be genetic or inherited, which implies that up to 75% is modifiable“.
In other words, the room for maneuver is large. So if you want to clear the black cloud that hangs over your head, these recommendations can help you.
1 – Acknowledge your problem
They say that, with any problem, the first step is to become aware of it.
“Many pessimistic people are very attached to the idea that their beliefs that things are going to go wrong are correct, and they have the perception that these bad thoughts are permanent, generalized and personalized“, Allison Funk, doctor in psychology from the American Institute of Cognitive Therapy, explains to BBC Mundo.
“That is why I would say that the first step is to develop a little curiosity about this pattern of thought and analyze if one frequently uses phrases like ‘this always happens to me, it’s my fault, or I’m going to feel always think like this’, every time something bad happens”.
Funk says that we must be willing to question this way of thinking when we see it and ask ourselves if it could have been circumstances beyond our control that they made something bad happen to us.
2 – Practice gratitude
An exercise that many psychologists recommend it is to express our gratitude for the good things we have.
“Become aware of the positive things that exist in your life and make you feel more hopeful that there will be positive things in the future”, says Funk.
The expert suggests regularly writing “five things we are grateful for or texting them to a friend if you want a higher level of responsibility”.
This simple exercise can help us cultivate a more positive mental attitude.
Laura Rojas-Marco, a Spanish psychologist and author of several books on personal development, says that in addition to having been working on this topic with her patients during the pandemic, she herself did it every night after work.
“At the end of the day, after working 15 hours with people who were suffering a lot, for my own mental and emotional health, I wrote down in my notebook the positive things that had happened that day to close the day with something positive“, he tells BBC Mundo.
3 – Make room for disappointment
An important aspect of being what they call a “realistic optimist” is recognizing that some bad things will happen to you in life.
It is not about thinking that each day is going to be perfect, but about knowing that in life bad things will also happen, but it is good to “tell ourselves that we will be able to deal with what happens to us, instead of worrying about the bad things that may happen”, says Funk.
4 – Plan activities that excite you and take care of yourself
“It would be great to have a planned vacation on our agenda, but it can also be small things, that make us feel whole”, says Funk.
“Plan a meeting for coffee with a friend you haven’t seen for a long time. Make plans outdoors”, gives the psychologist as an example.
It also implements beneficial strategies for mood regulation in general.
“We know that there is a great correlation between positive mood and things like getting enough sleep, eating well, avoiding harmful substances and treating physical illnesses”, says Funk.
“Working with your body chemistry helps to have a vision most optimistic about life“.
5 – Visualize how things can go well
Visualization is a great ally, explains Rojas-Marco, but it has to be a realistic visualization.
“If you visualize something in the future that you want to happen, something you want and you imagine it, that it will activate your proactive attitude in the brain“.
“Then we are going to move towards it, because it is easier to start walking towards something that you feel is attainable , who was doing something that isn’t,” says the psychologist, adding that it is a technique that is also frequently used in clinical psychology therapies to treat phobias.
Funk agrees on the usefulness of visualizations, which should aim to “imagine oneself living according to one’s own values”.
“Because when people visualize themselves as their self Ideally, they use this to punish themselves for not meeting those standards,” he explains.
Visualizations can also help us set goals.
And “working to achieve achievable goals can give us a sense of achievement, and that it will make us feel more optimistic”.
6 – Argue with yourself
When one falls into a well dark where he sees everything wrong, Martin Seligman, an American psychologist and one of the founders of positive psychology, says that the first thing is to recognize that voice that makes the negative comments, to discuss with it as if it were an external person that the only thing what he wants is to make us feel bad.
“That inner voice is often the me that is scared, the insecure me, the fearful me or the lazy me, and laziness sometimes also traps us” , says Rojas-Marco.
That is why it is important to establish an internal dialogue with that critical voice and the way in which we speak to ourselves , he says.
Discuss with that inner voice presenting arguments.
This dialogue is what “is going to influence the engine that puts us into action”, for that is crucial to discuss and make a positive reinforcement.
7 – Recognize what happens in the world and you cannot control
Although there is a lot of space around what we can do about ourselves, it is true that sometimes it is difficult not to lose optimism in the face of what happens in the world, and it is completely beyond our control.
The environmental crisis, armed conflicts, femicides and many other problems are for many a source of anguish and hopelessness.
Funk says it’s important to recognize what’s going on in the world. “It’s incredibly human and appropriate to have negative feelings,” he says.
But he explains that it is also important to remember that “we do not contribute to improving any situation by feeling exhausted for what is happening in the world and for choosing to let this impact the way we present ourselves to the world”.
“Sometimes we feel powerless and insecure about what will result from a global situation , but the only thing we can control is our own behavior”.
“If we control our own emotional expressions, the way we treat others and how we present ourselves to the world according to our values , this is, in my opinion, the best antidote”, concludes Funk.
Rojas-Marco accepts that it is a challenge, but that in moments of great crisis what helps us is to concentrate on the now, and on objectives in the short term to maintain optimism.
“It is easier to take a step forward than to think about doing a thousand kilometers”, he says.
You also have to learn to rescue what is positive within the bad, such as in the middle of the war in Ukraine, the generous gestures of the hundreds of people who came to the border —some even from Spain, traveling thousands of kilometers, Rojas-Marco says— to offer their own home to the refugees who fled from his country.
“That gives hope. And when a person witnesses another person’s generous act, he tends to want to repeat it. That ends up forming a human chain of generosity, of empathy, which is what we are seeing now”.
You may be interested in:
The 20 happiest countries in the world 2022; Finland is first place for the fifth year in a rowHow to find peace in times of warWe cannot survive without hope
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