Sexual desire is today the headache of us sexologists. Its lack is common in the US, where women suffer from it more than men (43% versus 31%). A low level of desire is associated with infrequent intercourse, low arousal, fewer orgasms and serious problems in the couple.
Since men do not play with their frequent sexual activity and take the lack of women’s desire as rejection and abandonment, there is emotional and sometimes physical distance in the couple, and conflicts arise.
The great sexologists were lost. Although Helen Kaplan is the first to speak of desire, she fails to clarify the subject well. Basson appears, and changes the focus given to female sexuality: her sexual response is more complex, insisting that her desire and arousal are “nothing” like that of men.
Great changes arise from what was said by the fathers of sexology Masters and Johnson, who discovered that the sexual response (in both sexes) began with arousal, plateau, orgasm, relaxation and, in the case of man, refractory period.
To this adds “desire” the brilliant Helen Kaplan, who discovers and highlights that they forgot their wish. Thus she speaks of desire, excitement, orgasm, etc. And the famous desire complicates the situation, since we know very little about it.
Basson tells us that the male sexual response is totally different from the female. She points out that female sexuality begins with intimacy and there are several steps to arousal. She points out that women engage in sexual activity for a variety of reasons, including a desire for emotional closeness. But, sexual desire is a frequent factor for women in relationships where they feel listened to, loved, cared for, where there is true intimacy and I can be “me being with you”.
Premenopausal and perimenopausal women, according to studies, have problems with sexual desire (about 40%, median age, reported that they never or rarely felt sexual desire). Many variables influence the human sexual response, such as the relationship, the importance given to sexual intercourse, attitudes towards aging and vaginal dryness, etc.
Sexual response is a complex process and can be easily altered in various reproductive life (pre- and postpartum, peri and postmenopause), which explains the high prevalence of sexual dysfunction in the general population of women.
Thank God, today there are bioidentical hormones, which can restore sexual desire, help with vaginal dryness, hot flashes, bad mood, lack of energy, and much more, bringing us back to life and health. This is not enough, the desire is more than testosterone and estrogen, it is based, above all, on the couple’s relationship.