People tend to confuse diplomacy with cowardice; dignity with being gossipy or very strong, and to the fool with being polite and easy. If someone dares to defend their rights or disagree about something, they immediately accuse them of everything: antisocial, trouble seeker, difficult person, Mauser tongue…
Let me explain: I have a reputation for being strong and with a very hard mouth, simply because I tell the truth, and straight on. When people are honest, clear, transparent and direct, they automatically say that they are crazy or that they are very difficult. The ideal, supposedly, is to deal with pseudo-beings. Or, what is the same, hypocrites, flatterers and suckers, who live for “what they will say.”
For the most part, they are psychological dwarves. After all, they are people who live climbing on others to be able to see themselves; they criticize everyone; they question the preparation of others —and what they do—, but they do nothing. They live someone else’s life, and their own is a disaster, although they paint it as perfect.
What characterizes a solid being?
Be honest with others and with yourself. His beliefs, opinions and principles are what govern his life. He has been developing and incorporating these principles and values into his life. Act with coherence and consistency; Live what you preach and believe. He is the typical person who says: “I am this, and it is what I will do, or not.”
You don’t need anyone’s approval. However, it is not dogmatic. He never thinks he has the last word on anything. You remain open to the ideas and opinions of others. He weighs them… and makes his decision. A solid being does not negotiate his beliefs, decisions and opinions to acquire peace of mind, greater approval from others or less anxiety.
He does not betray himself. He respects and celebrates the differences that he may have with others. He assumes his emotions and feelings, without the need to project them. It can be supportive, but respecting the space of the other.
The pseudo-being is an inauthentic person. The important thing is what the other feels, thinks or says about him. It only works when the group supports and approves it. Their beliefs, opinions and principles are elaborated according to what the group thinks. He doesn’t stand out from the crowd. You can only reduce your anxiety with the acceptance of others. Live “what they will say”. You do not enjoy your individuality, because it gives you feelings of abandonment and loneliness.
Keep all this in mind when getting married, choosing a friend or partner.
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