Column by Dr. Nancy Alvarez: Love each other like cats?

Someone recently told me that “you have to love each other like cats.” It’s interesting, why? Ah, people don’t care what character the cat has. They love him that way, because everyone has their own way of being.

Independence must be respected. Everyone has the right to be themselves, to continue living the way they want. That is independence. We can’t be glued together all day. You need to talk to your friends, drink a coffee… or anything.

You don’t have to want to tame your partner. We cannot expect him to be like us. Isn’t that how cats love each other? They respect each other’s character and are very independent. And tell me! Sometimes they disappear at night and come back scratched the next day. People also often say: “He is in love like a cat.”

I explain all this in my book “Loving yourself is not enough”. And here comes a paragraph. You have to respect the other as they are. Of course, but not if he is a drunk who mistreats her every day, or a rage addict, who lives fighting and insulting her. Oh no! That does have to be changed. A person like that is sent far away.

In the ideas you sent me about love and cats, there is one thing I don’t agree with. They tell me that “you have to let them come whenever they want.”

With cats, that’s fine; but if we are to love people like cats, then we should be careful with that idea. Do you know why? Because there are people who grew up in environments where the distance from others was enormous. There are families that go for years and don’t speak to each other.

But there are also families that are too close, who spend the entire day wanting to tell you what to do: “where were you, how did it go, why didn’t you call me?” They want to control you. So, that’s where you have to teach a little distance, so that they don’t suffocate you.

However, a very strong distance ends the relationship. You cannot be affectionate and take care of everything, while the man neither speaks to you nor says “I love you.” Exaggerated distance ends the relationship. Even if it’s the cat’s, because cats are possessive and, when they arrive, they always want to be paid attention to.

So let’s be independent and affectionate like cats, but never forget that we are human beings.

www.DraNancy.com